Does Size Matter and Is Bigger really Better?

Men Are From Mars

 

When I was a child I remember taking great pride in being one of the tallest in my class. The concept in life that bigger is better comes from our older parts of the brain that were used back when our ancestors were living in caves and small tribes. The biggest in the clan were usually the most powerful and this basic level of thinking can often be seen today in our society.

Most tall people I know never complain about being tall, whilst people who lack height often bemoan their ‘short legs’ or lack of height. In the western world we grow up dreaming of a big house and a big bank account, I suppose in most concepts, bigger is usually better because it can create that feeling of abundance.

What about when it comes down to the size of the Male anatomy? The Penis, a Man’s most…

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Joke for Friday

An oldie but  I still like it:

Brent went to see the eye doctor for an eye check-up.   They start chatting while the doctor is doing the check-up, and the doctor says to Brent, “You know, you really need to stop masturbating.”

Brent feels all panicky and says, “Oh my  God, doc!  Why?  Am I going blind?”

“No,” the doctor replies, “but you were upsetting the other patients in the waiting room!”

Love Your Hands, Ladies

God, I love the way a woman’s hands feels.

I’m not saying they’re always my favorite part of a woman’s body, ‘cuz clearly there are times when I’m much more interested in the more erogenous and erotic parts – love them naughty bits!  But when my li’l guy is relatively sleepy,  I just love to spend time holding a woman’s hand, or feeling it stroke my head, or planting a few little kisses on it.

Chunks Learns About Sex

A bro and me were talking a day or two ago about how we learned about sex at first.  Chunks (that’s what we call him, ‘cuz of how he blows chunks so often when he drinks) said that he learned all the basics from his brother, who was three years older than him.

A Few More Things I’ve Learned After It Was Too Late

1.  Not everyone can wear a Speedo.

2.  Salt is no substitute for talcum powder.  Trust me.

3.  “Sure, baby, I’m up for ANYTHING” may mean different things to you than it does to someone with a subscription to XTreme Sex Toys Monthly.

Beards

So I’ve been thinking about bearding up but don’t know if I should.

My friend Alex is like, “Bro, a beard is so easy.  Do it.”  And I’m like, yeah, I like easy.

See, I’m basically lazy.  And the thought of not having to spend time every day shaving, I really like that.  And no more nicks or cuts – yeah!

Jake, another friend, tho’, is like, “Dude, a beard is just another way of showing you got balls.  Don’t be so freakin’ insecure, man.  You don’t have to show it off.”  And that kind of pisses me off, cuz it’s not true, cuz you can have a beard for other  reasons.  But also it pisses me off cuz it partially is true, that I like the idea of a beard because it’s kind of exhibitionistic in a symbolical-like way.

And from girls, I get different reactions- some like the idea (“hot,” one of them called them) and some are like, “Ew, so shacked, don’t do it.”

I grew one a coupla years ago, just for a coupla days, to see what it’d look like, tho, and I thought it was okay.  But I’m not a woman.  And clearly, if it’s gonna freak out the ladies, I don’t want it.

So don’t know what I’ll do yet.

Why Men J-O

Got this from www.epiclol.com.

Junk Joke

Frank and Clark were friends from way back.  When Frank died suddenly, he found himself in hell (which wasn’t really a surprise) and found hell wasn’t as bad as he expected.  On his introductory tour, he was shown a huge room that was filled with clocks.  Each clock had a name on it.

“So what’s with all the clocks?” Frank asked.

“Ah,” said his guide.  “Those are whacking clocks.  There’s one for every guy on Earth, and every time a guy jerks off, his clock advances one minute.

Frank smirked.  “Yeah?  How come I don’t see one for my good buddy Clark?”

“Oh, it’s not in here,” the guide said.  “We keep it in the office and use it as a fan.”

Horny Foods

So, like, some foods are supposed to be aphrodisiacs, right?  Like oysters.  Well, I hate oysters, which is probably good, because I’m generally horny enough, so I don’t need these little “o’s” to help get me a “big o.”

But there are some of these horny-making foods that I do like a lot, like avocados and chocolate and garlic.  (Figs I can take or leave; bananas are okay.)

Me & Beer

Okay, it’s time for a big confession:  I like beer.  But I don’t know a good one from a bad one.