Beards

27 Aug

So I’ve been thinking about bearding up but don’t know if I should.

My friend Alex is like, “Bro, a beard is so easy.  Do it.”  And I’m like, yeah, I like easy.

See, I’m basically lazy.  And the thought of not having to spend time every day shaving, I really like that.  And no more nicks or cuts – yeah!

Jake, another friend, tho’, is like, “Dude, a beard is just another way of showing you got balls.  Don’t be so freakin’ insecure, man.  You don’t have to show it off.”  And that kind of pisses me off, cuz it’s not true, cuz you can have a beard for other  reasons.  But also it pisses me off cuz it partially is true, that I like the idea of a beard because it’s kind of exhibitionistic in a symbolical-like way.

And from girls, I get different reactions- some like the idea (“hot,” one of them called them) and some are like, “Ew, so shacked, don’t do it.”

I grew one a coupla years ago, just for a coupla days, to see what it’d look like, tho, and I thought it was okay.  But I’m not a woman.  And clearly, if it’s gonna freak out the ladies, I don’t want it.

So don’t know what I’ll do yet.

9 Responses to “Beards”

  1. gentlygoodnight August 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm #

    From a woman’s standpoint, I do not think “a beard is easy.” Sure, it’s pretty simple to just not trim the hair that’s growing out of your face, but if you don’t want to look like Ted Kaczinsky, You’re probably going to have to spend at least a little time grooming it. At the same time, I’m sure it’s probably less time than you would spend shaving daily.

  2. Humans Are Weird August 28, 2012 at 6:43 pm #

    Love your writing, dude. I’ve realised that what makes a writing style the most engaging is how honest the writer is willing to be. (Well, I reckon that’s the case, probably a few other factors as well, I s’pose).

    Also, grow the beard! But if you do, keep tabs on the stache. My g/f gets narky at me if I don’t trim the mo; she calls it a walrus, ’cause it hangs over my teeth and yeah, kinda makes me look like a walrus.

    On another note, beards are sweet. You can stroke them when you think. And they make you look wiser! Or, if you can, go for the Nietzschian mo. That shit’s awesome!

    • mrguypants August 28, 2012 at 10:12 pm #

      I could use lookin’ wiser – true dat!

  3. good2begone August 28, 2012 at 11:51 pm #

    My attempt at growing a sweet beard ended with me having the nickname “Patchy”. Not so sweet and not much of a beard either. I’m still pretty bitter about the entire ordeal.

  4. extracurriculalife August 29, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    Whatever you do, don’t do the 5 o’clock shadow beard. Too prickly for oral sex. I haven’t personally ever gone for a guy with a huge, mountain man beard, so I don’t know about that, but I keep getting the image of the old prospector going down on me. Which is gross. 😉

  5. C. Pendola September 1, 2012 at 12:51 am #

    Most of the guys I have dated have had beards. If you’re going to do it, you’ve got to own it. One of the most attractive things about a man with a beard to me, is that they roll their eyes and brush off the semi-constant requests from girls to shave it.

    A couple of tips though… keep the neck clean, and keep the mustache trimmed. If the neck has hair you look homeless, and if the mustache goes over your lips it can be annoying during a good make-out session.

  6. Judith Willems September 4, 2012 at 4:40 pm #

    I LOVE BEARDS

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