Chunks Learns About Sex

29 Aug

A bro and me were talking a day or two ago about how we learned about sex at first.  Chunks (that’s what we call him, ‘cuz of how he blows chunks so often when he drinks) said that he learned all the basics from his brother, who was three years older than him.

I asked Chunks how he decided to ask his brother, and was it weird asking him.  And Chunks said he didn’t ask his brother – his brother just up and told him one day.  Out of the blue – not like he caught Chunks playing with himself and used that to talk about sexing with a real girl instead of your hand or anything.

Chunks says he was about ten years old, and he was playing a video game (Mortal Kombat 3), and his brother came in and said something like, “Did you know you came out of Dad’s dick?” and then started telling Chunks about sperm and eggs and how they get together.  And then he went on and talked about foreplay and what women like – pretty detailed for a 13-year-old.  And then he ended by saying, “So whatever you do, when you start jacking off and shooting off into Kleenex or socks or stuff, wrap the Kleenex up and throw it away and stuff the dirty sock inside one that doesn’t have spunk on it before you put it in the laundry, ‘cuz if Mom or some other girl touches them, even if it’s like a week later, they might get pregnant, if they forget to wash their hands before they wipe after peeing.”

But everything else his brother told him was right – but Chunks spent years after that coming up with really secure ways of disposing of cumrags, like wrapping a Kleenex up in 15 or 20 other sheets and then putting it all in a plastic baggie.  Which I guess there’s nothing wrong with, right, just kind of funny.

2 Responses to “Chunks Learns About Sex”

  1. beerotica143 August 29, 2012 at 8:21 pm #


    • Harriet Hunt August 29, 2012 at 10:57 pm #

      This reminds me a lot of an episode from the first season of Weeds, when the younger son discovers the fun he can have with his penis…

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