Archive | September, 2012

Boy Meats Melon

29 Sep

I know I’m not the only guy that’s done this (cuz my friend Chunks definitely has, and so have some guys I went to school with): had sex with a melon.

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FAIL Nation: Accident Waiting to Happen FAIL

28 Sep

To Shave or Not to Shave (My Balls)?

28 Sep

This girl I sleep with has suggested a coupla times that I shave my crotch, and I have mixed feelings.  Part of me is like, “Fuck, yeah, that’s be cool!” cuz I think it’d be neat to see what it feels like to be totally hairless down there.

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What Jack Wants (A Dirty Joke)

27 Sep

So, little Jack came home from elementary school one day.  He went upstairs and looked in his mother’s room.  She was on her bed, naked, her hands furiously rubbing her crotch, and moaning, “Oh, I want a man!  Dear God, I want a man!”

The next day, little  Jack  came home from school and went upstairs, where he saw his mother once again naked, but this time with a man lying on top of her.  Jack immediately raced to his room, took off all his clothes, lay down on his bed and started furiously rubbing his crotch, moaning, “Oh, I want a bike!  Dear God, I want a bike!”

“I Never Goes Swimmin’ with Bald-Headed Wimmen…”

26 Sep

So that title, in case you don’t know, is one of the alternate lyrics to “Popeye the Sailor Man” (another popular alternative being “never go swimmin’ with bow-legged wimmen.”

I’m not talking about swimming here, but I am talking about bald women.  (Not muff bald – I’ve done that before in another post – but women who have no or little hair on their heads.)  And I DO go “swimmin” with them – or have done, if by swimmin we mean sex.  (Have to spell these things out sometimes.) Continue reading

Lyin’ ‘Bout My Rubber Size

25 Sep

Ok, so I’m glad to say that this is NOT something that I do now, but I also have to admit it’s something I did in the past, and I know it was wrong (and thank God it never came to anything) – and that’s intentionally buy a rubber that’s too big for me.

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Sex on a Picnic Table? Check!

24 Sep

Okay, got to add a new one to my “places I’ve had sex list” this weekend.  Was out with my sex bud (see post of a coupla days ago), and we had ourselves a picnic dinner, complete with a hefty amount of wine, and before the night was over, we were buck naked on the picnic table going at it.

It was one of the greatest screws I’ve ever had.  And my partner was pretty satisfied too.

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