Sex Buds or More?

21 Sep

So I’m semi-involved with someone now.  Yeah, what does semi-involved mean?  For me, it means that we’ve gone out a few times and slept together a few times and could be getting to that point where we may be saying, “So are we something more than just sex buds?”

Of course, that’s COULD be getting and MAY be saying.  We might go on like this for months (years?), just seeing each other sometimes and having pretty great sex, and feeling free to see other people.  She’s definitely not pressuring me or anything, and I think the non-pressure shit is real – I don’t think I’m misreading her (but of course I sure as hell could be.)  But I THINK that she thinks I’m kind of fun to be with, and that I ball pretty good, but that I’m not really her long term type of dude.

But, based on my past experiences, I worry that I may be wrong and that she may soon want something more permanent, and maybe the things that I think she thinks about me are really just the things I think about her (cuz I do think of her that way), and that soon we’re going to get to the point where we either have to move to the next stage or end it.

So, here’s the stuff that it all gets me thinking:

Why don’t I bring it up?  Why don’t I just say, “Hey, I really like what we have here, and I’m fine with it the way it is, but just want to know if you’re okay.”  And I guess it’s because I want it to continue the way it is, and if she’s not into that, then we should break it off, so she doesn’t get to the point where she’s hurt.  And I wouldn’t be HURT breaking it off, but I’d miss not going out with her, cuz she’s fun, and yeah cuz I’d miss the sex, sure.  So, selfishly, I want to just continue on until she brings it up.  (IF she brings it up.  Like I said, she may be totally okay with us the way we are and may never bring it up.)

None of this is complaining, BTW, or even meant to excuse.  I’m just figuring things out and sharing them.

4 Responses to “Sex Buds or More?”

  1. (anatomyofaffairs.wordpress.com) September 21, 2012 at 2:53 am #

    Great unless one of you or the other does not know of “other people”. Women usually want more eventually.

  2. heartfromstomach September 23, 2012 at 12:44 pm #

    As another woman I think that u should bring it up now that emotions and feelings haven’t matured yet. It will put both of you in an open and clear state of mind about what it is that you have signed up for. I was recently in the same situation. Turned out I wanted more and he didn’t. I waited for him to say something but he didn’t so I got impatient and asked. When I got my answer I was free to move on. It hurt a little because I liked him a lot but I had to move on.

  3. filledandfooled October 2, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

    I’m confused! 🙂

    Just tell her when/if you want to fuck someone else and I’m sure you will find out where she is at in your relationship. I am pretty sure for women you don’t assume they are being casual, the ones who are really ok with casual relationships make it pretty clear upfront.

    • mrguypants October 2, 2012 at 9:36 pm #

      I think it’s more some sort of uncalled-for guilt on my part or something like that – yo know, shit I’m bringing to the table with me.

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