A Question of Ties

14 Sep

So, I’m not usually down with ties cuz they choke me too much, but I have to wear them sometimes (like, at work).  (OK, obligatory dick-related sidebar – we’ve all heard about how when guys hang themselves with a rope, it causes them to get a hard-on.  I swear, some days when my tie is really tight, I get a stiffy that just won’t quit.)

Anyway – I don’t like wearing ties very much, except when it’s an after-work thing, and you can loosen them way up, real casual and askew and all, with like your shirttails hanging out, and usually a beer in one hand – and then I like wearing one fine. But even when I don’t like wearing them, I like a good lookin tie.

There’s this dude I used to work with, some really obnoxious rich guy  (I know not all rich guys are dickheads, but this one was), and anyway he thought he was such a big-balled cock, but he was really a douche.  Anyway, he had the best ties I’ve ever seen.  He had this one that was this, like, really deep gray that looked like it glowed – not a shine, like one of my cheap ones, but like this glowy aura thing, and it had this really intricate red and blue threadwork that made some cool abstract design in it.

One day he was wearing it and I broke my usual rule against talking with assholes and told him how awesome it was.  He told me to touch it, so I did – epical softness, like nothing I’d felt before.  I was like, “Whoa, Dude, that’s super soft shit.”

“Of course it is,” he said, “it’s made from seal fur.”

So here’s the thing – was he boning me with that, or what?  I don’t want to sound stupid (or more stupid than I usually do), but I’ve never heard of seal fur being used for a tie.  Do they do that?  And if they do, would it be so soft (cuz I when I think of seals, I think of cute but also kind of wet and slimy)?

2 Responses to “A Question of Ties”

  1. BougieHippie September 14, 2012 at 5:22 pm #

    like your writings, yes there are seal fur ties, hats and socks. also gloves with seal lining.

    • mrguypants September 14, 2012 at 5:25 pm #

      Cool – thanks for clearing up for me!

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