Reasons Football Doesn’t Suck

10 Sep

Some stupid idiot friend of mine (J.T., I’m lookin at YOU) thinks that football sucks.  So here, my asswipe friend, are reasons why you are so legendarily wrong.

1.  Watching a football game with your bros is the best excuse for drinking beer.

2.  And eating junk food.

3.  And farting.

4.  And punching your best bro on the arm either cuz  your team just scored and you’re woofing, or cuz they blew it and you’re pissed or cuz the Tv showed a sucky commercial.  (Anything is a good reason for punching your best bro on the arm.)

5.  A football game gives you a great excuse to get away from too much talk about whether green pillows or blue pillows would “liven up” the damn living room.

6.  Playing a football game (I’m talking at school or on your block – who the hell reading this is a f’in’ pro?!) gets you dirty and lets you put your body through the ringer – and the last is a great excuse to sit down and throw back some cold ones.

7.  What else are you going to talk about after Thanksgiving dinner?

8.  Cheerleaders.

9.  It gives certain girls a chance to pretend they know nothing about it and gives you the chance to feel all cocky when you’re explaining it to them, even though you know damn well they’re fakin it, but it gvies you something cool to talk about when you’re breaking the ice with each other.  (We guys should return the favor and talk about colors for the living room like we’re really interested, but you know we never as hell do.)

10.  It makes you feel awesome.

3 Responses to “Reasons Football Doesn’t Suck”

  1. frontrangescribbles September 10, 2012 at 9:18 am #

    Amen brother!

  2. aesobolwillowshade September 11, 2012 at 5:28 am #

    Football is AWESOME! (and this is coming from a girl!) A-to the fuckin-MEN!

  3. fireprincess1111 September 12, 2012 at 11:20 am #

    Ha ha I love this article, I bow to you! From a female football addict 🙂

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