A Question You Can’t Answer

20 Aug

Dude, you know you’ve been there too.  A coupla weeks ago, I was with a girl and she said those words no bro likes to hear: “Okay, be honest now.”

It’s like, go ahead and shoot me, would you?  Because you know that whatever comes next, you’re gonna step in it.  There’s no avoiding it.

In this case, what came next was one of the worst, cuz it was THAT question: “Do these pants make my butt look big?”

C’MON!!!!  Do we GOTTA go through that stuff again?

Sure, there are some times when you can say, “No,” and mean it because it’s just damn true.  The woman has a fine set o’ cheeks and they look great in that snug little denim, and it’s no lie at all.  Except that there are SO few women (in my experience) that believe you when you say it, whether it’s true or not.

And if it’s not true, if yeah those pants make her ass balloon way out, you can’t say “yes,” because then it’s like it’s your fault, and you’ve hurt their feelings or they’re mad or whatever.  (I did try once, “I don’t know – why don’t you take them off so I can see what that beautiful ass looks like on its own” – but that didn’t work.  Didn’t really think it would, but hey – why not try?)

In this particular case, the answer I wanted to give was “No, they don’t make your butt look big.  Your butt just IS big.  And you know what, that’s fine with me.”

Because it is.  I like a little meat on a girl’s butt.  Not flabby, but a nice little padding can be a plus for me.  But anytime I’ve tried to get that across, it’s gotten me taken right out of the running with that woman.

I fell back on, “Naw, your butt looks great” and it worked okay this time.  As usual, she asked it forty-eleven more times (okay, probably three) before we were able to move on – but that’s about the best that can come of that question.

So what do YOU say when you get the “butt look big” question?  (Or a similar one?)

11 Responses to “A Question You Can’t Answer”

  1. nothingbuttasians August 20, 2012 at 1:55 pm #

    Don’t you just love this question?! Do they ever stop?? Will they ever understand? haha I love ’em . . . I say something like, ” Nah not too big, they accentuate that voluptuous butt of yours, mmmmhmmm (yes, like homer simpson) maybe snap the lens at it… and even go as far as to threaten that ass not to get lost .. well, I think we know: That wont happen and why should it?

  2. Julius Reade August 20, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

    Insecure chicks are the worst. Kill em’.

    • mrguypants August 21, 2012 at 12:26 am #

      It can be annoying – but then, I got my own annpying habits and stuff, too.

    • tubesteaks August 21, 2012 at 11:20 am #

      Then there would be none left.

      • Julius Reade August 21, 2012 at 11:28 am #

        You make a convincing argument. I think we have a winner.

  3. Beau August 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm #

    Oh, boy, there are much worse question that. I think my favorite is, “Okay, be honest with me. Do you ever fantasize about other women? Who are they? I don’t care, I just want to know.”

    • mrguypants August 21, 2012 at 12:54 pm #

      DEFINITELY there are worse questions than the one I posted! This one was just fresh in my mind!

  4. annamc18 August 23, 2012 at 2:43 pm #

    ok so I am a girl – and though I have asked this question to my boyfriend before…

    it irritates me more when I know he is saying i look fine cause that’s what he thinks i want to hear; I’d be more than ok if he told me i looked like shit…but that’s just me

    …totally understand where you are coming from, though lol

    • mrguypants August 23, 2012 at 2:50 pm #

      Like ur honesty – I guess it’s all about how honest a person can be and how honest the peson who’s asking really is – like, do they really want an answer (like u) or do they just want reassurance or something else. Thanks!

      • annamc18 August 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm #

        Ya i feel for you guys – I am glad I don’t have to deal with that side of women all the time! lol – esp the high maintenance ones!

        i sorta think I am an exception to a lot of the common bitchy women things like that, so I bet my BF is glad I don’t normally ask him things like that or like make him do stuff like take me shopping all the time or whatever lol

  5. justplaintwisted August 30, 2012 at 4:44 pm #

    I didn’t read any other replies, but I know whwb a girl is asking this she’s simply looking for attention. Sneaky bitches. She knows exactly what her ass looks like and is basically tricking you into a compliment. I say be absolutely stupid next time, like crack up, ask her if she’s on drugs, tell her she has the finest ass you’ve ever seen…and, she will likely drop it. 😉

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