What Does YOUR Girl Call It?

18 Aug

It was some years back, dude.  I was in bed with this babe – very hot, tipsy but not drunk.  We’d been stroking and rubbing and chowing down on each other, and she was great.  She also was one of those cool ones that knows how to joke around in between things, so she wasn’t afraid to come out with some random comments that made me laugh my ass off while munching on her.  Then we’d moved on to the act itself, and it was some of the finest sex I’d ever had.

When we were finished, I rolled over, very satisfied.  She kissed me, then leant over, her breasts and their still-hard nipples grazing the hair on my chest, and whispered in my ear.

“Your Clancy is so f’ing cute!” she said.

“My what?”

“Your Clancy.”

OK.  That was a total new one on me.  We all know them – dick, cock, prick, Johnson, wiener, love gun, so on and so on.  (As a teen-ager, I wanted some girl to refer to mine as my “love log” until a friend of mine said, “Dude, that sounds like something at a scat-fest.”  After that, I couldn’t even think about using that for my junk.)

But Clancy?

It turns out, from my experience at least, a lot of girls have names for it that wouldn’t have made my list.  “Spoogie,” one girl called it.  Another liked “stickshift” (which I kind of like), but she also liked “Gordon,” which my penis definitely is NOT.  And another (a friend who I have not been involved with, but who volunteered this when telling me about a hot date she’s had) likes “thermoblast.”  (Say what?)

I know we guys have, shall we say, “interesting” names for our shafts, but I’m really interested at what the dudettes have to say about this.  Guys, what names has yours been called?  And girls (if any haven’t walked away shaking their heads and mumbling about how all guys talk about is their dicks before reaching this part), what do you like to call it?

18 Responses to “What Does YOUR Girl Call It?”

  1. Athletic Ale August 19, 2012 at 11:58 pm #

    Hahaha, I’ve heard “buster” not sure if that bodes well for the end of the night though…

    • mrguypants August 20, 2012 at 9:29 am #

      That’s a good one. A friend of mine had his referred to as “Thing 3” (like in the Cat-in-the-Hat’s Thing 1 and Thing 2) and wasn’t sure what to make of that!

  2. flightsofantasy August 20, 2012 at 11:27 am #

    My ex used to call his the ‘one eyed trouser snake’ but I like Cosmo magazine’s ‘Beaver Cleaver’! Keep them coming though – I get bored with using the same old slang when writing the dirty stories for my blog! I am interested in the names that guys actually find sexy for their dicks?

    • mrguypants August 20, 2012 at 11:31 am #

      Hadn’t heard beaver cleaver (how is that possible?!?). Just to help out – and I can’t explain why I like some of these but – I also like muff stuffer, piledriver, man machine, and pussy pounder.

      • flightsofantasy August 20, 2012 at 7:54 pm #

        Thank you – I will see what I can do for my next post.

  3. Accidental Masturbator August 20, 2012 at 11:46 am #

    I can’t remember anything my exes have called my cock, but I don’t think my Wife has ever called it anything. I can’t even remember Her even mentioning it at all.

  4. The Chairman August 23, 2012 at 3:00 am #

    Clancy? That makes me think of Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell on the PS2, trying to sneak around dark warehouses. “Fisher! You’re supposed to be invisible!”

    Twat rattler, love truncheon and purple-veined custard dribbler are other names that spring to mind. If you haven’t seen it already this is an excellent source of such language http://www.viz.co.uk/profanisaurus.html

    Thanks for the like

  5. vanillamom August 23, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

    funnah…

    not a guy…just a horny slut…thanks for the “likes” on my HNT…and “muff stuffer” just makes me hysterical…

    love laughing during sex but that would definitely take the fizz out of things… 🙂

    nilla

    • mrguypants August 23, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

      I dunno – the rite kijnd of laugh at the rite time can feel awesome! (Anyone else ever laughed rite as s/he is orgasming?)

      • smittenwithhim August 29, 2012 at 2:10 pm #

        This might be strange, but we laugh during sex all the time.

      • mrguypants August 29, 2012 at 3:13 pm #

        Hey ,it’s fun – why not?

  6. Scarlett DuBois August 25, 2012 at 11:39 pm #

    I call my hubby’s penis a joy stick. I like pressing my thumb on the head and making laser shooting sounds. ‘Tis much fun. xxx

    • Thoughts, feelings&observations August 30, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

      That might be one of the sexiest things I have ever heard =D

      • Scarlett DuBois August 30, 2012 at 10:10 pm #

        Glad to have been the one to say it 😉

  7. thesickbastard August 26, 2012 at 3:41 am #

    She calls it “Kurt” …. and I’m like Kurt?? like Kurt Angle??

  8. simplyseductive September 4, 2012 at 2:58 pm #

    My friend and her ex would call his Fred and her vagina Angela

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