In Defense of Mr. Johnson

31 Jul

gnostic bent

I am the male penis. But for the sake of this treatise, you can call me Mr. Johnson.

I’m coming to you today (no pun intended) to clear the air about some things. Lately, I feel like I’ve been getting a bad rap and it should come as no surprise that I am not very happy about it. And my partners, the Testicle Brothers, share my displeasure.

Before I address the issues—which include being blamed for controlling male behavior and facing charges of inappropriate arousal in public—I feel a little background is needed.

I am not here by choice and hope you know that I have better things to do than simply hanging around all day. However, I am an integral part of the male anatomy and feel it’s time I get my due consideration.

Yes, I am responsible for expelling liquid waste, which I can tell you…

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